Early in my career, I spotted a decision that didn't feel right. I remember telling myself it wasn't my place to question or challenge it. But by the time the issue surfaced, fixing it was far more difficult than having one uncomfortable conversation would have been.
Some of the most expensive communication failures in organisations happen because people stay silent. For HR and L&D teams, that silence can show up as poor alignment, delayed decisions, disengagement, and managers who never hear what their teams actually need them to know. We spend years teaching managers how to give feedback, but we spend almost no time teaching people how to give feedback upwards.
Here's what I've learned, both from my own early career mistakes and from years of coaching leaders through feedback conversations.
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Why Managing Up Feels Hard
Feedback to a peer feels like a conversation. Feedback to a manager can feel like a risk to your reputation, your relationship, even your job security. The goal isn't to erase the power dynamic, but rather to communicate skillfully within it.
The biggest barrier is often a perceived risk. People stay silent because they worry about looking difficult, damaging relationships, or being seen as "not a team player."
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Three Shifts That Make a Difference
1. Lead with the shared goal, not the critique. Saying "I want this launch to succeed as much as you do, and could I share something I've noticed?" signals you're on the same team. This is important to put forward before saying anything that could sound like opposition.
2. Trade vague discomfort for specific observation. Specificity is what turns feedback from a feeling into something actionable. Saying "I think communication could be better" is easy to dismiss. But "I found out about the deadline change from a client instead of from us, can we build in a heads-up next time?" is not. The more specific you are, the easier it is for someone to respond constructively.
3. Offer a next step, not just a problem. Managing up isn't just naming what's wrong, it's making it easy for someone busier and more senior than you to act on what you've said. A short, practical suggestion lowers the effort required for someone to act.
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Managing up isn't about challenging authority. It's about taking shared responsibility for better outcomes.
Great organisations don't just teach feedback skills. They create environments where upward feedback is expected, welcomed and acted upon. That means giving employees the confidence, language and practical tools to have these conversations before small frustrations become bigger organisational problems.
Most people don't struggle with how to phrase feedback but they struggle with the moment before, when silence feels safer. Building the habit of speaking up, early and often, in low-stakes moments is what makes it possible to do so when the stakes are high.
Like any leadership skill, managing up isn't something you master after reading one article. It becomes easier through practise, coaching and repetition. When organisations create opportunities to practise these conversations, employees become more confident, managers become more effective, and communication improves across the business.That's one of the reasons our programmes at LeadMe combine practical learning with coaching and real workplace application. Behaviour change happens in the doing, not just in the knowing.
Want a practical starting point? Whether you're looking to build your own confidence in managing up, or you're an HR or L&D leader looking for practical resources to support your people, we've created a free Managing Up Toolkit with conversation frameworks, scripts and reflection exercises that we use with coaching clients and leadership programme participants.If you've ever walked away from a meeting thinking "I wish I'd said something," this toolkit is for you.
Onward and upward,
Jackie
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At LeadMe Academy, we partner with organisations to help managers build the everyday leadership habits that matter most, before small gaps turn into bigger issues. We focus on strengthening the fundamentals so leaders can create clarity, trust, and momentum in their teams, consistently and sustainably. To learn more about our LeadMe Academy leadership development offerings, email our team at connect@leadme.academy or book a call with us.
